The One Left Behind
by Shimmerbreeze
Summary: Happy Royai Day... Set in between the 2003 anime and the Conqueror of Shamballa. Rated M just to be safe. Riza finds out why Roy left for the North.
1. Chapter 1

_**The One Left Behind**_

***Hiya guys! Shimmerz here again! Usually I don't add new stories so close to each other, but today is special, anyone know why?... That's right! It's Royai Week, but more specifically Royai Day! Only the best couple in all of anime world! Okay, so this story is set in between the end of the 2003 anime and the Conqueror of Shamballa. (Shambalalalalalala ;P lolx insider between me and my Beta). Hope you like it. **

**Song: Never Be The Same**

***S***

_**Riza's POV**_

The months and weeks following the Fuhrer's demise and Ed's disappearance were…tense. While the Colonel was recuperating it was fine, for a while, but then things got a little awkward after one particular night.

*S*

Roy had been injured severely and I was the one in charge of taking care of him. Of course it was me, I'm his bodyguard and most trusted subordinate. I should have been there to keep him from getting injured in the first place. I won't deny that I keep a little guilt built up in me because of this incident.

"Riza?" Roy asked me. I stood at the stove waiting for the tea kettle to get hot.

"Yes?" I let it slide that he called me by my first name, we weren't at work and he was on medical leave until next week anyway.

"Have you ever thought of retiring?" He asked me. I looked up at him shocked. Despite everything, even Ishbal, that had never come up in our conversations.

"No not particularly sir," I said puzzled. "What brought this on?"

"Nothing, never mind." Roy said turning away from me to stare out the window. I sighed softly, yup, that's the Colonel alright. Closed off and distant. Well actually I guess that's my job…

"Colonel, is something bothering you?" I asked, he snorted.

"When isn't there something bothering me?" He asked curtly. "If it's not civilians wanting petty things, it's the military wanting The Flame Alchemist to do something, and when it's not them, it's someone else."

"Oh," that was all I could come up with, I couldn't even begin to fathom what had brought this about. "Was it something the team and I did?" I had to ask, hardly ever was he mad at us, but with him being out of the office even I'll admit I haven't been doing what I should have been.

Roy stood up and I slowly back up until I felt my back hit the kitchen counter. "Don't ever think that!" He growled lowly. "Don't ever think you could be the reason I'm bothered." He put both of his hands on either side of me on the counter.

"C-colonel," I stammered. Too close, too close.

"Riza, you are never a bother to me." He said gently leaning in closer. "Never a bother," I gasped softly when he pressed his lips against mine roughly. For a moment, I closed my eyes and kissed him back just as readily. When his lips left mine to travel down to my neck I whimpered softly.

"Colonel, we can't the frat laws," I whispered. Did I want him to stop? Hell no I didn't, but if I didn't stop this now, if anyone found out there would be big trouble, and Roy was getting enough of that from the council now.

"Fuck them and their laws," Roy said softly, removing my military jacket and letting his hands roam elsewhere. Any resolution I held went out the window quickly when his hands found the hem of the tight brown shirt I wore under my uniform. With a quick tug, he had it out of my pants and over my head.

A loud knock at the door interrupted us. We pulled away from each other and I snatched my shirt and jacket from the floor and rushed into the bathroom to redress. From there, I heard Roy open the door. I heard muffled voices, even though I couldn't hear them clearly, I swore that was my grandfather's voice. He had taken over as Fuhrer when Roy turned it down. I waited until I heard the door open and close again before peaking out from the bathroom.

"All clear?" I asked blushing when I saw Roy was standing so close.

"Yeah," he said distractedly.

"Was that the Fuhrer?" I asked pulling my jacket on.

"Yeah," he said again. Damn, I hate that word. I walked towards the door only to feel his arms wrap around me and pull me back.

"Colonel, all due respect, I have a do that needs to be taken care of." I heard a loud whistle from the kitchen. "And your tea is done." I gently unwrapped his arms from my waist and once again started towards the door. I turned and saluted him. "I shall see you tomorrow." And I walked out the door and down the road.

*S*

He didn't touch me again after that, and our conversations were polite and work related. When he returned to the office after his medical leave, the tensions were wound tight, and the others were beginning to notice a bit. But today was different.

I arrived in the office like normal, and like usual I was the first one there. So I had thought. One by one, the others trickled in slowly. Havoc was first, already lighting a cigarette, followed closely by Fuery and Falman, who both live in the barracks near headquarters, and finally Breda who was yawning. After an hour we started to get worried.

"Man, the chief is usually late, but never this late." Havoc said scratching his head.

"Yeah, I would have at least thought he'd come to say goodbye in person," Fuery said. Immediately, the others slapped their hands over his mouth and shot looks at me that bordered on fear and pity.

"Goodbye?" I asked standing up from my chair. "What do you mean? Is he going on vacation?" Inside my heart, I felt a little tug and got a bad feeling.

"Aw man, see guys I told you he'd be the first to spill." Breda said.

"Someone better tell me what's going on right now!" I said slamming my hands down on the table.

"Calm down, please." Havoc said flinching.

"I'll calm down when you tell me what. Is. Going. ON!" I shouted, earning more flinches from them all. The pulled away for a minute and started playing rock paper scissors. '_Chicken shits,' _I thought shaking my head while calmly drawing my gun. So much for proving rumors that I shot at them wrong. I fired one shot above their heads and they started playing faster, ending with poor little Fuery pushed ahead of them all.

The poor man had actual tears in his eyes as he opened his mouth to talk. All that came out was a frightened whimper. "Please don't shoot me Lieutenant!" He cried. I let out a breath.

"I'm not going to kill you Sergeant." I said calmly. "But I would gladly like it if one of you would tell me what is going on around here." Turns out, they didn't have to answer me.

"Is Colonel Asshat really transferring to the North without you guys?!" My best friend's loud voice rang through the room as she ran in. Rebecca and Roy never did like each other.

"He what?" I asked shocked. I turned my head to the rest of the team only to find them huddled behind Rebecca. She looked around.

"Hey, now if I have to come back later I will." She said turning to leave.

"Please don't leave us here to die!" Breda wailed.

"Shut up you idiots, I'm not killing anybody." I snapped. "Becca, what do you mean by the Colonel transferring?" I asked. He couldn't have. No way would he go without me.

"I'm afraid so," all six of us snapped to attention and saluted as the Fuhrer walked in. "At ease you all." He said waving his hand. Rebecca eyed him warily and sat down quickly. Poor Becca was always getting smacked on the butt by him. I loved my grandfather, but he is a pervert.

"Why wasn't I informed? I'm his chief aid and bodyguard." I said trying to keep the hurt out of my voice.

"Sit down all of you and I shall explain." Grumman said sitting down behind Roy's desk. We sat and all looked at Grumman expectantly. "I shall assume that all of you knew of this transfer except Lt. Hawkeye?" The others nodded and I felt my heart tug again. "Well, a few days after I was made Fuhrer, Mustang came to me and requested to be stripped of all rank. Though he still has the equivalence of a Major because of his State Alchemist title." Our eyes were wide with dismay; apparently he'd left that detail out when he told the others. "Then he asked to be moved to the north. Said he wanted to be alone for a while." It was quite for a moment, and then the outburst came from the most unlikely person.

"How selfish of him!" Rebecca said standing up. "Does he even understand how many people risked their lives for him and then he just gives up!"

"There's nothing we can do 2nd Lt. Catalina," Grumman said watching me. I took a shaky breath and stood up.

"May I take leave for the rest of the day sir?" I asked trying to keep my voice steady.

"Of course," he said softly. I saluted then turned and walked out of the room. It took all of my strength not to run to the train station. To hunt Roy down and beat him senseless. But that would solve nothing, he would still go and I would still be left.

I unlocked the door to my apartment and spotted Hayate lying down on the couch, he looked as mournful as I did. "Hey boy," I whispered going over to him. I sat down on the couch and gathered him up and hugged him close. "He left without saying goodbye Hayate." The tears came fast and heavy after that.

Hayate whined and wiggled out of my arms before running over to the table I keep by the door. He jumped up and barked twice before jumping up again. "Hayate?" I asked standing up. On the table was a single envelope with my name on it. The handwriting was Roy's. It was unmistakable, neat and tiny. I stood there for a minute and stared at the letter. Obviously he had been here; how he had gotten in she had no clue about. She shook her head and picked up the letter.

"Come on Hayate," I said taking my jacket off and hanging it on the rack by the door. I walked into my room and sat down on the bed before taking my boots off. I patted the bed beside me and Hayate hopped up and started turning in circles before curling up beside me. "I guess it's now or never Hayate." I said softly opening the letter.

_Dear Riza,_

_By now, if you are reading this, I will be gone from Central and on my way to the North. I'm very sorry that I did not tell you and I know you are wondering why. Had I told you, you would have gone to Grumman and immediately demanded, yes demanded not asked, a transfer along with me. The old geezer would have granted it too. I didn't want to drag you down with me my dear Riza. I hope you understand why I did this. _

_Another thing, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting these past few months. It's unfair to you and everyone else as well. I guess I kinda screwed up in the kitchen huh? I realize now that it was a mistake and that nothing but hurt could have come from it even if you returned the feelings I have. I shouldn't burden you with them now, but if I don't…no, I'm telling you because I'm selfish and I don't the burden myself. _

_I love you Riza Hawkeye. All these years I have kept you close to me for my own selfish desires. There is no other way to explain it. I had to have you near me. For my own peace of mind that you were okay. After Ishbal, I was never going to let you out of my sights again. You have been wonderful all these years. I'm sorry for the worry and the hurt I have caused you. One day I will be able to face you and maybe I can make things right. _

_Forgive me dear Riza. Please don't be angry that I left you behind. I will see you again I promise that. _

_Love,_

_Roy_

*S*

I sat there and stared at the letter for a while. Tears drops now marred some of the words, but I would always know what it said. "What an idiot," I said softly. Hayate made a small yip that sounded like an agreement to me. Never once after joining the military did I think I would be one of those women who wait for their husbands or lovers to come home. Now look at me, I am one of those women.

_"The world isn't perfect. But it's always there for us, doing the best it can. That's what makes it so damn beautiful." _Roy's words rang through my mind. Did he know then, that he was going to transfer away and leave me behind? Where was the world when I need it? Did I not once say I would follow him even into hell? I slammed my fist down onto the bed and growled lowly to myself for a while, tears streaming down my face.

"I love you too Roy!" I shouted at the stupid letter. "You ass! You didn't even say good-bye." I threw one of my boots at the wall and then curled up on my bed. Hayate crept up and wormed his way into my arms and licked my nose. I pat his head absentmindedly. When would Roy be back? If or when Ed came home? When he hears word of Grumman passing the torch? Why didn't he take me with him?

Why didn't he take me with him? That question rang in her ears throughout the next month as she just went through the motions of doing her job. The boys at the office didn't even try her. It truly was as if she had been left behind with nothing to live for…


	2. Chapter 2

_*The One Left Behind*_

_**General POV**_

"You know what I was thinking?" Havoc asked Fuery and Breda one day after Riza and Falman had gone to deliver paperwork to respective places.

"What?" Fuery asked.

"She's acting like she was the only one left behind." Havoc said propping his feet up on the desk. "I think it's time to bring our Hawkeye back and not this mopey, rag like girl we have now." He smirked and lit his cigarette.

"Havoc, I don't think that's a good idea." Fuery said. "She's just waiting for the chief to return like the rest of us."

"Yeah, but she's acting like one of those girls in the movies. You know when the husband goes off to war." Havoc said. "Like she's been left behind forever or something." Suddenly he sat up. "You don't think?" He said looking at Fuery.

"Nah," the younger man said shaking his head. "Lt. Hawkeye is too smart to risk getting a court-martial for that."

"For what exactly Sergeant Fuery?" Riza's voice sounded behind the young man. His face paled and Havoc ground out his cigarette.

"It was Havoc's idea!" He yelled covering his head with his arms.

"Why you little—" Havoc growled at him. He looked up at Riza and smirked. "We were just saying how you wouldn't be stupid enough to marry Mustang and risk getting a court martial. Unless of course you did?" Havoc eyed her gun warily.

"I don't know what you've got going on in that head of yours Havoc, but Mustang and I are NOT married or involved in any way." Riza said turning away slightly and let out an inaudible sigh. _'Unfortunately,' _she thought.

"Well damn, there goes that rumor," Havoc said smirking widely. He was gonna have fun with this until the last minute.

"What rumor?" Riza asked spinning around. She condoned rumors and their starters.

"Oh, just that you and Mustang go at it any chance you get." Havoc said waving his hand in the air. "The usual stuff."

"Usual? This stuff gets said all the time?" Riza asked, she was starting to get suspicious of Havoc, he was smiling too much. Riza knew her team well; she knew that if a rumor started they would kill it off just as quickly. _'Well Havoc, two can play at this game.' _

"Yeah," Havoc said spinning in his chair.

"So it's just like that rumor about you and Becca," Riza said going to sit down at her desk, hiding her own smile behind a book. _'Three…two…one,'_

"ME AND REBECCA?" Havoc yelled standing up. "Who started that?! That's ridiculous!" He sputtered madly, his face turning bright red.

"Lieutenant Havoc, are you embarrassed? Is that rumor true then?" Riza asked innocently.

"No of course not!" Havoc growled sitting back down.

"Exactly, and it's not going around either." Riza snapped. "So stop trying to start things, I can do it just as easily." It slowly hit Havoc that he had been played, his grin spread slowly.

"Welcome back Lieutenant Hawkeye," he said lighting a new cigarette.

"I never left," she said looking out the window.

_That was the thing._

_You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. _

_Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, _

_And it just hits you all over again, that shocking._

_***S***_

**Hey guys! So this wasn't meant to be two chapters. It was only supposed to be one, but I was running out of time to post it, so I cut it off and made this part a second chapter. That's why this one is so short. The little end quote thingy is from Sarah Dessen's book "The Truth about Forever." Anyway, hope you like **_**'The One Left Behind,' **_**and if you read my other stories, look out for a new chapter for '**_**Love and War,' **_**I should have it ready in the next few days. **

_***Shimmerz***_


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